Thanksgiving :/

Today is my favorite day ever and my brain feels like mush. I don't like it.
I did just make awesome stuffed mushrooms for my Nannys house though :) Agh, and Searching For a Former Clarity just came on my limewire, it's gona make me even sadder.

I'm just sick of my life and my bad luck.

People man...

I've been reading peoples blogs on myspace, people who like to write. I'm not trying to be a crazy critical and self righteous, but they suck. They all try so fucking hard its disgusting. Let me grab every interesting new vocabulary word and dark symbolic figure I can find and cram it into a paragraph and call it a piece of writing. That's all it is. The worst part is that people comment these posts telling them that it's incredible and they should write music and crap. I like to write too, but I'd never put anything of that nature on myspace or even this thing. I guess in that way I have to give them some credit.

So about the last two days, they sucked. Me and Nicole were going to see Tom's solo show last night, and I'm so mad. We go there and even though doors 'opened' at 7, we didnt get in til 8, so we stood in the cold for an hour. Then we waited by the stage for another hour and this other guy starts playing and there were drunk idiots screaming, spilling beer on us and trying to crowd surf. I can deal with that, but this was not that type of venue, your not supposed to do that its not set up for that. Then I get a text from a friend who was meeting me there saying Tom is going on til 1030. It was a school night and we were hungry, annoyed and had to pee and we don't even like Toms solo music really, just Tom. So we flipped a coin and it landed on heads, so we left. The rest of the night was bad too but not neccesary to write. To make the whole thing a thousand times worse, we find out today that he played so many Against Me! songs, like Tonight We Give It 35%, I love that song. And Burn, which he said he'd never play again. I am soooo mad. No more :/.

Tom<3

"Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
keep that in mind, the way
that I felt when the most I could
do was to just blame myself."

I want to be high so fucking bad right now, agh. Going to see Thomas Gabel tonight at the Knitting Factory, should be amazing ofcourse. To be honest I like Against Me!s music a lot better then Toms solo stuff, but I love Tom too much to miss anything he does. I decided that Adam Lazarra (Taking Back Sunday) is an awesome writer, and deffinitly relateable. I don't care how gay it sounds to say I like Taking Back Sunday, I do. I'd never torture myself and go to see them though, they play huge venues and there would be 7,489 crazed little bitches with their t-shirts and possibly signs, crying and freaking out and shit. Yea, I can't stomach that. So excited for tonight :).

Who Am I Kidding

I don't have much of a brain lately, just very scattered thoughts.

Wowowowowowow. I can't believe I lost my fuckkkkking ipod. I cannot afford a new ipod, and I can't take the bus and train every fucking day without it. And my black eye liner, again! There is a black hole in my house some where, eating all of my most important things. I'm just waiting for my cigerettes and phone to get sucked off my computer desk right now and vanish. I deffinitly have the worst luck ever.

Liquid Tylenol

I hate being sick, everything I do takes insane amounts of energy. I'm avoiding taking a shower right now cause I know I'm gona be exhausted after ha. So my senior thesis is due on wednesday and I don't even know what I have to do. That means I can spend my entire day off tuesday writing it, greatttt. Friday was the longest night of my life.

I need a new job, desperately. I wish I was a genius like Good Will Hunting.

I don't give a fuck who the president is. I hate this country anyway.

Little Shit

I'm really fucking sick of my father. I can't stand his whole fucking love of authority. If it's in control, it's right. And I can't stand how he tries to ruin everything for everyone. He can never just be happy for someone. If I get good grades, I could have done better. I want to go to college in Boston, it's never gonna happen. I had a really good time somewhere (for once), he can't even pretend to get it. My job very obviously fucked me over, but their still right. I'm so fucking sick of it. I need to grow up though, I'm overreacting. Maybe these things are important to me, he should be happy that fucking anything is important to me. I never try to do anything or set any goals for myself, and the one time I do it doesn't fucking make a difference, and at the fucking easiest thing. It makes me feel like shit and I don't why he can't just understand that and try in someway to make me feel better, rather then just trying to point out why I'm wrong.