Theory?

I'm no expert, but I recently watch Slumdog Millionaire (really good btw) but I can't help but think that the movie has an underlying message of atheism. I think Jamal, the main character is supposed to be basically an atheist, or just not a believer in god. I think he believes more in himself, and logic.

(I'm gonna ruin parts of the movie here)

Jamal uses logic through out the game show, his memories and his basic knowledge of life and what not. The last question he does not know the answer to and just guesses, no faith or miracle involved, very obviously, just a guess. Also one of the other questions about the hindi (or muslim) he says he wishes he didn't know the answer too. He seems in pain at the thought of the "god". I'm pretty sure it was a muslim god which would mean that he could only not want to remember the answer because it was symbolic to him of his mothers death while being attacked by muslims, but I don't think that is the only meaning behind that. Also a point is made that his brother, Salim, is religious and it also clearly shows that Jamal is aware of this. He is never seen praying himself though, and his brother is specifically portrayed as religious to show that he is not all bad.

I missed a few parts of the movie, so maybe it proved my theory wrong at some point, but I doubt it. Why do I think that this is a point? Jamal's intelligence is an important part of this movie, he uses logic over faith.

Also the very end of the movie shows the answer the the question asked to the audience in the beginning referring to why/how Jamal is on/winning the game, the answer is D) it is written. This points more to the belief of fate (to me), rather then religion. The answer really doesn't seem relevant when compared to religious beliefs.

Mmmmm I think that's it, the end.

It all changes

and you weren't worth all that you put us through.

Thats all I can say

I stayed in the dungeon all weekend with my best friend smoking pot, cause nothing else felt right. I passed up 2 parties and I haven't been drunk all week. I just figured that the usual drunken ridiculousness and mistakes aren't as funny or acceptable if your crying about something real at the end of it all.

So much for spring break, there's always next week.

Moment

I had so many moments today it's insane. And it's only 2 oclock.

First of all I think it's crazy how much music can do for a person. I'm having a fucking terrible time right now with things going on and I'm appreciating so many songs in a new way. Pints of Guiness Make You Strong gave me od chills in the parking lot on my ten minute break today.

And my epiphany.

I had a serious epiphany today. I'm so done being a bitch. (To people I care about mostly)

I can't elaborate right now, I'm on a break again...

I only write in this thing when I'm angry...

I noticed.

I reallllly didn't want to sit home or smoke or do the fucking usual because
A) that's all I've done this entire waste of a fucking vacation
B) I really want to get drunk
C) I love boys
D) I'm sick of being sad

but no. I'm sure I'll wind up doing exactly the same shit, as always.
Great, I just knocked both of my fucking contacts out at the exact same time.

I think this is one of the worst moods I've been in in a longgg time, I would say it couldn't get any worse but it probably willl..

Murph

:(

I haven't

had this little hope in humanity in a long time. How can one night of shit ruin everything, for atleast tonight.


I have no words, actually.

Cable Car

Jeeeeez. I don't have a boyfriend for many good reasons, so why would I want this?

This always fucking happens to me, seriously. I'm not a fan.

All the convenient and nice parts I don't mind, but when it starts to get like this I'm done with it. I'm not manipulative, I don't enjoy it (that much) but I don't want to deal with physcos, basically.

Leave your confessions home please.


Why???????

!

I just wasted 6 hours of my life because some people are fucking inconsiderate bitches.


I'm really fucking sick of being bored and having no friends and I still can't fucking help that I don't like anyone to be their friends. I don't even like the friends I have enough to be their friend, I just have no other options.

I can honestly think of 1 person in the world at this moment that I like.

(It might be me)

I hate everyone and everything.

This might come off wrong...

The older I get the less and less I give any sort of a shit. It's not that I don't care about anyone, I just don't need anyone. It's such a nice feeling to not be tied down to anything.

Most relationships take more work than they're worth.


Except Nicole, cause she's my soul mate<3.

Wooops

Stephen**** Colbert.

How dare I

Steven Colbert

is funny. I'm reading his book. You should too!

I am a drunken messsss. I've blacked out at least once a weekend for the past month or two. I don't try to get that drunk but it just happens. It's annoying. I hate waking up wondering who of my friends/family hate me and why, it's a shitty feeling.

I also hate hearing/remembering ridiculous, unnecessary and disgusting stories about myself.

I'm going to sum up the last 3 weekends real quick.

Friday, Bomb the Music Industry - I remember almost nothing. A lot of drunk hookups, a lot. Apparently I made out with the whole room. Too many. Number of people who hated me after that night - 3. Woops.

Saturday, Show at Don Hills - Drunk mess again. Hooked up with a physco boy all night and few extra people here and there. I wound up punching the guy I hooked up with in the face at the end of the night resulting in him punching a whole in the wall of their studio. Also I started the night in the Village and some how ended up in Breezy Point with a bunch of people I don't know.
Number of people who hated me after that night - unkown (probably a lot)

Last night, Just Surrender at Highline Ballroom - Made a lot of fucking mistakes. Big ones. Caught 2 songs. Made out with a lot of strangers.

I have to stop this. Either I need to learn how to control myself when I drink or I just can't anymore. My mom is pissed at me, I hope she still lets me go to NJ for Bamoozle for the weekend :/.

Next weekend WILL be better. And I WILL remember EVERYTHING.

THINK POSTIVE.


(Chicken cutlets, cream corn, mashed potatoes stuffing and cabbage tonight<3 Thank you for that)

teenage graffiti

Last few weeks have been chhhillen.

Weather still sucks, I'm gonna start refusing to leave my house unless it is over 40 degrees.

My life is currently run by : Bomb the Music Industry!

I'm sick of morbid ass bands. Depressed is fine, morbid eh.

I've gone on rants about this before and I'm going to do it again. I don't mean to shit on anyone and their means of 'expressing' themselves but just because you string together a few words such as tragedy corpse darkness or fucking blood does not make it poetry.

Okay no, it makes it poetry, cause everything can be poetry, right?(stupid) What it does not make it is good.

I mean perhaps I'm just critical and judgemental and ... close minded (hahha).

I don't think it's any sort of art when your writing something in an attempt (subconcious or not) to be something that already exsists. Everyone's guilty of that to some extent, but some people are so bent on fucking molding themselves into the people they think are "COOOOOL". And the craziest part of it all is that it is so fucking obvious, how don't they see it.

I don't know, this probably wouldn't bother me anywhere near as much if the people they wanted to be weren't such fagget asses.

FUCK THAT

this is real poetry ..

We lost a tire but we put it back on. I lost the love of my life, holy
shit, I got a better one. I lost a couple of my favorite shirts and favorite
friends. I lost my favorite band. I feel like I've lost my mind and people tell
me "this is fine". Still, I feel shitty everytime I try to fucking fall asleep
at night.

I wouldn't trade it for the world, I would trade it for way less. Just a
parking spot and a place to call my home. I'm always making mistakes that are
never worth it, despite what they say I hate life ain't perfect. But fuck it I
got through today I got a few more tomorrows.

^^real.

AHAHAHA

VVVV I don't know why I was mad I had no reason I can't remember shit lmfao

BTMI

Andddddddddd I hardly got to see BTMI and that the only thing I really wanted to do tonight.


FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

I can't wait to fucking kill myself.

AGGHHHHHHH

It doesn't matter what the fuck I do, no matter what I end up with a fat lip and a shitty night and I'm fucking sick of itttttttttttttttt.
FUCK YOU ALL
I'm moving away and never coming fucking back

I hate everyone

I hope the world ROTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS


FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Shhhwing

How come the older I get the more I seem to hate the people around me. It seems like every year there's just that many more of my friends that I can't stomach. I'm so sick of it.

It's because people get stupid, or too wrapped up in things. There's flaws in everything and everyone and obviously you can't take everyone with their flaws or the whole world woud be friends but if you don't like someone for a thing like that then DON'T TALK TO THEM.

I hate that people are always talking shit. We all do it, but all the time? And about your friends. Telllll themmmmm. If I have a real problem with one of my friends that I just can't stop fucking talking about I'm taking it up with them. Two reasons. If there is that much of a problem how else can it be solved and if that person is really your friend, then their going to be pissed when they hear all the shit you've been talking. It's all simple. If the world knew how to be civil and mature there would be so many less problems...

duh.

edit:


I just realised that I'm contradicting myself terribly with this blog about one of my relationships. So either I'm write and I should really get on that, or I'm wrong and I should shut up.

Break

I want to go on an adventure soooo bad. I want to be in a different country, or a different state even. No parents please, that takes the excitement out of everything. I want to meet people that I'll probably never see again. I hate living so inside of my comfort zone constantly, it's definitely nice to have but I'm bored.

I used to like cold weather, now I don't know. I feel like it keeps me in so much. Maybe if I had a jacket I'd go out more, but then I know there's no where to go. I don't have all that much money...always and I'm sick of the same thing all the time. I can only take this for so much longer, when summer comes I am making things change.

I want to read The Catcher in the Rye, I think I'm gonna go buy it today. Ugh but so little money. Whatever, I really need to start cutting back on cigarettes anyway.

I never want to go to college.

"I couldn't wait til I got home to pass the time in my room alone .. "

Fatlip

Sports all day for the past two days, if I keep this up I'm going to be completely covered in bruises by the end of the week. I like it though, baseball and soccer and basketball.

It's hot down here. I wish I had some money. I need cigerettes, I need to smoke, gah. I'm gonna rob my mom when I get a chance.
I miss Tom<3

It's been a while

I'm a little ticked off right now.
REASONS:
The new cleaning lady is coming today and I have to talk to her and direct her, and she hardly speaks english. AGH.
My mom is a selfish food shopper and I hate this organic shit.
Actualllly, I don't mind organic shit, I just hate this organic shit.

Last night I threw up again. I think I have to go back to only drinking sparks, I can't handle drinking beer or liquor and smoking obviously. Its cause I don't know my perfect mixture. Drinking and smoking has a very fine line, I cross it way too often. But this time I contained my puke to the bathroom and nobody knew, wo0p.

I dropped an entire 40 today in my kitchen. Kabloom beer and ugly brown glass everywhere. Good thing this new cleaning lady is coming, gross sticky floor.

goood mood

now

I love relying on myself
I will be writing in this a lot though :)

idjhweipjf

Fuck everyone.
Lets all believe what we want
or whats more convienent
or easier to believe


Maybe we should swallow our pride
and believe what is true
instead

This isnt fucking shakespeare
just so you know
Even though I fucking wish I was an evil genius
and I wish I could get my hands on some poison
or a shotgun

Theres nothing for me to be jealous of
LOTS OF HOLES
and your retarded.

It's not all coming together, it's not coming any time soon. I'm sick of optimism for no reason, in other people at least. I'm sick of profile quotes stating that everything happens for a reason, I'm sick of karma, or the lack of. Karma isn't real. Not every thing happens for a reason, people make up reasons that things could of happened for. Bad people get fucked and so do good people and so do regular people. There is no reason for exsistence, theres just exsistence.

SICKSICKSICK

Sooooo ridiculous. How can someone just fucking lie and lie and lie and lie and keep lieing like a pyscho. Give uppppp. It's so fucking annoying and pathetic. I fucking hate people.

God I hate my fucking life. Everything is always FUCKED up. Not just my life actually, the world, the world is warped and fucked up. People make me sick in so many different ways, I can't believe I have any friends at all sometimes, since it seems like everyone I've ever come into contact with is a shitbag.

Enough of this, its just been a bad weekend.

SoCo

Aghhhh, my stomach hurts so much right now. It was a long night and a lot of throwing up. I called out of work today again, they deffinitly hate me so much. I'm not used to drinking liquor, it's not my faulttttt!

AHAHA

You make me sickkkkkk.

I can't
even
begin
to
explain
this.

I'm going to eat my remote control, I'm so hungry. It is like 4 below outside. I sat in Barnes and Noble for like two hours today, no coffee either. I bought a red pin striped button down, woop.


This is stupid.

There are no plain zip up hoodies anywhere on the planet, just so you know. I searched forever. My black hoodie is shot, because I wear it every fucking day. I have to go eat.

I Still Don't Get It

Again with these "games". I feel so stupid even saying it, theres no other word though. Why why why? It's so pointless, a waste of time. I can understand that there needs to be some element of ... mystery? I guess, but aren't there other ways to do that. I think most people think that when playing gamessss with another person, not only with a person your dating but anyone, it's going to make them intrigued or want you more. Maybe that works with most people, but I think it's a turn off. I just want something easy and comfortable. When I think about someone I like I'd like it to be good thoughts, not what the fuck did they do that for? It's so juvenile, I don't get it.

I'm sick again, always sick. My skin hurts, all of it. My fucking eye sockets hurt, what? The past couple of days seem never ending, like there all mushed into one. I woke up late again today, and my dad wanted to kill me again. It was for stupid reasons, Eric was here and telling a story and he always has funny stories and then I had to shower, for no reason really, but I only found that out today.

Adam and Tom make me so jealous, in a good way.

"Well, I'll hold my tounge use it to assess,
the damage from way back when it mattered.
Nothing seems important anymore
we're just protecting ourselves from ourselves,
and I don't think I'll ever come back down.."

My Mom

has one of these things, the fuckkk?

I sold my breasts today.

I Need An Alarm Clock

I wake up late for work almost every Saturday. I can't decide wheather to care or not, because I hate that fucking place. Today I woke up two hours late, haha, and they told me not even to come in. If my Dad wasn't a manager I would have been fired so long ago. I want a new job but I think that I obviously need to get my shit together before then. Blah, get my shit together, I don't want to do that.