goood mood

now

I love relying on myself
I will be writing in this a lot though :)

idjhweipjf

Fuck everyone.
Lets all believe what we want
or whats more convienent
or easier to believe


Maybe we should swallow our pride
and believe what is true
instead

This isnt fucking shakespeare
just so you know
Even though I fucking wish I was an evil genius
and I wish I could get my hands on some poison
or a shotgun

Theres nothing for me to be jealous of
LOTS OF HOLES
and your retarded.

It's not all coming together, it's not coming any time soon. I'm sick of optimism for no reason, in other people at least. I'm sick of profile quotes stating that everything happens for a reason, I'm sick of karma, or the lack of. Karma isn't real. Not every thing happens for a reason, people make up reasons that things could of happened for. Bad people get fucked and so do good people and so do regular people. There is no reason for exsistence, theres just exsistence.

SICKSICKSICK

Sooooo ridiculous. How can someone just fucking lie and lie and lie and lie and keep lieing like a pyscho. Give uppppp. It's so fucking annoying and pathetic. I fucking hate people.

God I hate my fucking life. Everything is always FUCKED up. Not just my life actually, the world, the world is warped and fucked up. People make me sick in so many different ways, I can't believe I have any friends at all sometimes, since it seems like everyone I've ever come into contact with is a shitbag.

Enough of this, its just been a bad weekend.

SoCo

Aghhhh, my stomach hurts so much right now. It was a long night and a lot of throwing up. I called out of work today again, they deffinitly hate me so much. I'm not used to drinking liquor, it's not my faulttttt!

AHAHA

You make me sickkkkkk.

I can't
even
begin
to
explain
this.

I'm going to eat my remote control, I'm so hungry. It is like 4 below outside. I sat in Barnes and Noble for like two hours today, no coffee either. I bought a red pin striped button down, woop.


This is stupid.

There are no plain zip up hoodies anywhere on the planet, just so you know. I searched forever. My black hoodie is shot, because I wear it every fucking day. I have to go eat.

I Still Don't Get It

Again with these "games". I feel so stupid even saying it, theres no other word though. Why why why? It's so pointless, a waste of time. I can understand that there needs to be some element of ... mystery? I guess, but aren't there other ways to do that. I think most people think that when playing gamessss with another person, not only with a person your dating but anyone, it's going to make them intrigued or want you more. Maybe that works with most people, but I think it's a turn off. I just want something easy and comfortable. When I think about someone I like I'd like it to be good thoughts, not what the fuck did they do that for? It's so juvenile, I don't get it.

I'm sick again, always sick. My skin hurts, all of it. My fucking eye sockets hurt, what? The past couple of days seem never ending, like there all mushed into one. I woke up late again today, and my dad wanted to kill me again. It was for stupid reasons, Eric was here and telling a story and he always has funny stories and then I had to shower, for no reason really, but I only found that out today.

Adam and Tom make me so jealous, in a good way.

"Well, I'll hold my tounge use it to assess,
the damage from way back when it mattered.
Nothing seems important anymore
we're just protecting ourselves from ourselves,
and I don't think I'll ever come back down.."

My Mom

has one of these things, the fuckkk?

I sold my breasts today.

I Need An Alarm Clock

I wake up late for work almost every Saturday. I can't decide wheather to care or not, because I hate that fucking place. Today I woke up two hours late, haha, and they told me not even to come in. If my Dad wasn't a manager I would have been fired so long ago. I want a new job but I think that I obviously need to get my shit together before then. Blah, get my shit together, I don't want to do that.