Cable Car

Jeeeeez. I don't have a boyfriend for many good reasons, so why would I want this?

This always fucking happens to me, seriously. I'm not a fan.

All the convenient and nice parts I don't mind, but when it starts to get like this I'm done with it. I'm not manipulative, I don't enjoy it (that much) but I don't want to deal with physcos, basically.

Leave your confessions home please.


Why???????

!

I just wasted 6 hours of my life because some people are fucking inconsiderate bitches.


I'm really fucking sick of being bored and having no friends and I still can't fucking help that I don't like anyone to be their friends. I don't even like the friends I have enough to be their friend, I just have no other options.

I can honestly think of 1 person in the world at this moment that I like.

(It might be me)

I hate everyone and everything.

This might come off wrong...

The older I get the less and less I give any sort of a shit. It's not that I don't care about anyone, I just don't need anyone. It's such a nice feeling to not be tied down to anything.

Most relationships take more work than they're worth.


Except Nicole, cause she's my soul mate<3.

Wooops

Stephen**** Colbert.

How dare I

Steven Colbert

is funny. I'm reading his book. You should too!

I am a drunken messsss. I've blacked out at least once a weekend for the past month or two. I don't try to get that drunk but it just happens. It's annoying. I hate waking up wondering who of my friends/family hate me and why, it's a shitty feeling.

I also hate hearing/remembering ridiculous, unnecessary and disgusting stories about myself.

I'm going to sum up the last 3 weekends real quick.

Friday, Bomb the Music Industry - I remember almost nothing. A lot of drunk hookups, a lot. Apparently I made out with the whole room. Too many. Number of people who hated me after that night - 3. Woops.

Saturday, Show at Don Hills - Drunk mess again. Hooked up with a physco boy all night and few extra people here and there. I wound up punching the guy I hooked up with in the face at the end of the night resulting in him punching a whole in the wall of their studio. Also I started the night in the Village and some how ended up in Breezy Point with a bunch of people I don't know.
Number of people who hated me after that night - unkown (probably a lot)

Last night, Just Surrender at Highline Ballroom - Made a lot of fucking mistakes. Big ones. Caught 2 songs. Made out with a lot of strangers.

I have to stop this. Either I need to learn how to control myself when I drink or I just can't anymore. My mom is pissed at me, I hope she still lets me go to NJ for Bamoozle for the weekend :/.

Next weekend WILL be better. And I WILL remember EVERYTHING.

THINK POSTIVE.


(Chicken cutlets, cream corn, mashed potatoes stuffing and cabbage tonight<3 Thank you for that)

teenage graffiti

Last few weeks have been chhhillen.

Weather still sucks, I'm gonna start refusing to leave my house unless it is over 40 degrees.

My life is currently run by : Bomb the Music Industry!

I'm sick of morbid ass bands. Depressed is fine, morbid eh.

I've gone on rants about this before and I'm going to do it again. I don't mean to shit on anyone and their means of 'expressing' themselves but just because you string together a few words such as tragedy corpse darkness or fucking blood does not make it poetry.

Okay no, it makes it poetry, cause everything can be poetry, right?(stupid) What it does not make it is good.

I mean perhaps I'm just critical and judgemental and ... close minded (hahha).

I don't think it's any sort of art when your writing something in an attempt (subconcious or not) to be something that already exsists. Everyone's guilty of that to some extent, but some people are so bent on fucking molding themselves into the people they think are "COOOOOL". And the craziest part of it all is that it is so fucking obvious, how don't they see it.

I don't know, this probably wouldn't bother me anywhere near as much if the people they wanted to be weren't such fagget asses.

FUCK THAT

this is real poetry ..

We lost a tire but we put it back on. I lost the love of my life, holy
shit, I got a better one. I lost a couple of my favorite shirts and favorite
friends. I lost my favorite band. I feel like I've lost my mind and people tell
me "this is fine". Still, I feel shitty everytime I try to fucking fall asleep
at night.

I wouldn't trade it for the world, I would trade it for way less. Just a
parking spot and a place to call my home. I'm always making mistakes that are
never worth it, despite what they say I hate life ain't perfect. But fuck it I
got through today I got a few more tomorrows.

^^real.