The Other Night

I had the craziest dream, about Quentin Tarintino.
What happened was, I was watching the deleted scenes on my Pulp Fiction DVD and Quentin was doing the commentary before. I happened to fall asleep while watching and I dreamt this...
My sister dropped me off at his house, where I was going to be learning something (about directing I assume) When I got there we sat at the computer together and he made me sit on his lap and he sexually harassed me as I wrote him a review on Journey, the band. I think I know understand why little boys don't tell on the preists that give it to them and what not, cause I didn't want it but I just let Quentin do his thing. Then more kids came and Raquel (who was in about 2 minutes of Pulp Fiction) and she was Quentins girlfriend. Some little boy tried to make me jealous by telling them they were doing it in his room right now, woop. Then my mom and sister picked me up but I forgot my cell phone and we got lost in his strange apartment complex. It was all very wierd.

The end.

HAHA

People. I think I'm completely impossible to insult. I am completely aware of everything bad thing about me, my life, and so on. And apperance, that is the worst. I haven't gotten one of those in a while, which might be a sign that the small portion of the world I associate with is maturing slightly. How important are looks really? They seem to be, and I guess they do play some what of a factor in life, but anyone with any substance can get past looks. I can't believe the things that people forget sometimes, it makes me think that you can forget anything.

I'm a good person, too good.

"Thats why guys don't like you"
Hahaha, I can think of a thousand reasons why I am still single, but because I said I don't understand how your girlfriend can stand you, is deffinitly not one of them.

Baby, I Won't Impress You No Matter What

I make myself sick, and so does the world.

I know I'm not supposed to be this way anymore. Happy happy Rachael. I think tonight is a free pass. Would you like me if I stayed forever young? Blaaaa, I'm fucked up. I wish I could just sit on the couch and watch Pulp Fiction forever, or One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, I don't want to have to think anymore.

Well that sucks, cause no one does, get used to staying out of touch.

AND

I said this to someone I havent talked to in a long time tonight, and I used to be very good friends with them a very long time ago....

i know we havent talked in a long time, and im almost postive you hate me, but ive been thinking and i just wanted to say merry christmas
& you can tell your girlfriend the same goes for her

and they didnt even answer, I put my heart out in Christmas spirit, I even lied for the sake of goodness because I didn't even mean the last part, and he couldn't even humor me with an answer, so fuck this world.

This world

is full of stupid people. It seems that the only person worth really caring about is your significant other. I don't have one of those, and maybe I never will, does that mean that I'm never going to be important enough for anyone? I can't decide but I think so, and parents? Parents...psh. Parents have their own stories. Siblings will most likely ruin that last hope for you, if your in my boat. I can't care though, I'll just let it all go. Something, even if it is a short conversation every two weeks, is better than nothing.

Murph made me cry tonight, and I didn't even talk to him. & Nothing, nothing made me cry. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

I'm gonna keep a postive attitude anyway, because of my epiphany.

You Know It Kills Me

I was thinking about it, and it's not my fault he sucked when I was sober.

Deja Friday

It feels like yesterday happened already. Went to school, late of course. Didn't go to community service. Fight with psycho man, rule and authority obsessed Dad. Smoked, slept, went home and got ready. Kamels. Kamel is ridiculous. So is his brother. I fell in love with his puppy. I like to not be touched sometimes, but no one seems to understand that. It was like the 3 of them that were there have never seen a girl before. I felt like I was being hunted. It was fun though, most of it. The cab driver was deffinitly a killer. I'm sick of the attitudes on every fucking person in that cab company.

Fuckkkkk authority and rules.